The Road

So, this is where the road has taken me.

Earlier this year I went through a batch of testings due to some medical problems. I was told by my doctor that I was fine. I was told it was a hormonal problem and there was no need to worry. I was advised to take some hormonal replacement medications and that my life would be just fine. I knew that something was not right. That was why I went to the doctors in the first place. I could not ignore this voice telling me that if I followed my doctor's advice my life would not be just fine. I kept having this gnawing feeling that something more was brewing inside me. I persisted on more tests. My doctor said she saw no need for them. I continued to persist and she reluctantly ordered more tests. Again, my doctor went with the original diasnosis she gave me of abnormal uterine cells. Again she told me that I was going to be perfectly fine as long as I took some hormonal medications. Again, I was being overwhelmed by a feeling. A feeling that she was wrong. I was terrifed that something was being overlooked. I pelted her with questions and she sent me to a gynocological oncologist "to set my mind at ease"; as she put it. Well, I am glad I listened to that gnawing feeling. The oncologist confirmed that my tests had been misread, I did not have the need for just some hormonal medications. I had a need for surgery. I was diagnosed with Uterine Cancer and had surgery 10 days after having "my mind set to ease". I had been misdiagnosed for almost a year. My oncologist says I am very lucky. By listening to my instincts, I increased my chances of survival greatly. Through surgery all the cancer was able to be removed and I am know seeing life much differntly. Every day truly is a gift. A gift to be cherished. Each day is only what we make of it. Each day is full of new opportunities.

Through my recovery process I had a lot of time to think. I thought about the ordeal I had been through. I wonder how many other people went through similar mishaps. I wondered how many were not as lucky as I was. I wanted to make a stand and do something about it. I spoke with advisory boards, medical maltreatment claims are lenghty ordeals. Not only to mention the wonder of who the wrong truly lied on... the person reading the reports, the doctor relaying the information from the report, or even the person administiring the tests? There are many places involved in finding where the error lied. I wondered what I could do to make a difference. I wondered what the best thing I could do was.

In recent months I have been struggling. Struggling to find my way, my purpose. I have been the "go-to person" as long as I can remember. I am the one people come to for advice, help with their problems, answers to their questions, to vent to when upset, to confide in, to help calm their fears, to share lifes joys with. I have always been there; happy to do all those things. I enjoy being the "go-to person". It give me a sense of purpose. This summer, when the roles reversed, I realized just how beneficial having a support system is.

I have been playing over many different scenarios of options as to what path to follow. What can I do? Do I hire a lawyer and go the malpractice lawsuit route? Do I choose a new career path helping those in need find assistance? Do I volunteer my time to help with our local cancer society chapter? Do I write a book on my case? I spent many hours in bookstores and libraries looking for books on Uterine Cancer, very few exist. It saddens me as Uterine Cancer is one of the most curable cancers if detected early enough. Yet little information seemed to exist. After much thought, I can not explain it but I feel as though I have been pulled towards blogging.

This is the path I have chose to take. What lies ahead is unknown but I am hoping people will join me on that path. Blogging will offer me many different channels. It will give me the chance to educate people on warning signs and the importance of listening to your body. It will give me a chance to offer support and lend an ear to anyone who wants to reach out in their time of need. I plan on celebrating the simple joys of life. It will give me a chance to express how I truly am cherishing life moments.